As they say, if it's not one thing, it's another, and this past Wednesday, I had to put my dear little dog to sleep. When will it ever end. I'm about to hang it up and if it wasn't for the fact that I have a daughter that phones me and expects me to answer periodically and a couple of other kids that think I'm out here on the planet at their beck and call I might have just bagged it right along with Petal. I don't like being totally alone now. Her little clicks of her toenails along the wood floors are greatly missed and her scratching on the door even. Ex husband has already suggested getting another one - I believe to assuage his guilt over leaving me alone - he felt the dog was company enough I guess when he left in January. Well isn't that considerate. No dogs for awhile I think, I'm not ready to replace that sweet faced little thing. My fear at this point is that old adage of things happening in threes and I don't have a third thing to spare - I don't! So I hope it can come from something back a few moves like my computer crashing or losing my dining room set to the lying cheating bastard or something like that...does that qualify? I hope so. The other thing this has created that I didn't expect is a whole other loss of routine... I lost that when Bob left and here again with Petal gone. We got up and went outside and as much as I complained it was nice to greet the day and come in and make coffee. Now there is nothing to make me get up and start that routine. Bob, prior to Petal had a strict OCD routine that was much more involved, but at least it gave my day structure and now I drift. Today I was going to start my new life without dog and I haven't gotten off to a very good beginning. I will try again, with trying to do what I have wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, or go somewhere, but I hated leaving her. I always took her in the car with me and she had a little booster chair. Ahh Freedom! Soon it will feel good I imagine. No more boarding worries when I want to go somewhere. No more finicky eating. Right now I would spoon feed her with my son's silver baby spoon if she were here and it would help. I would drive her around in the car , going nowhere special if she liked it. That little dog was a part of my life that came to me when I really needed her and now maybe I will learn I don't need her and can be alone. Perhaps, I just liked that little dog around for that cute fuzzy face, and there wasn't a cuter face than hers, that loved me no matter what, yea, I think that was it. Goodbye Petal, I miss you so much. May 16, 2007 - October 6, 2010. I didn't get to keep you very long but you'll stay with me forever.
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