Sometimes if you wait for creativity and imagination to come before you do something you're waiting an awful long time. So you begin and hope that those things come as you go along. That is what I'm hoping for now. Since my last post there has been much to write about. Book Club musings, and my all time favorite- personal blather. Book Club is still and will always be my baby and something I hope very near to my heart. I hope every month it becomes (or stays) happy and healthy and I think for the most part it has. The biggest problem with it is me. As I have often stated - I have lost the ability to read since January. This activity has been replaced by absently staring off into space. I blame this - you guessed it - on the Lying Cheating Bastard. My mind just wanders and everything reminds me of how I got from there to here and how I will get from here to somewhere else. As one of you told me, "Life is a cinch by the inch but a trial by the mile" and while that may sound corny, it has gotten me through many a moment of grieving. I know I haven't been the same person and I apologize to those I've hurt and lost patience with, and I thank those who have shown me kindness and a handful of hope along the way. But enough philosophizing. It's been nine months now and I'm so grateful that much time has passed, but also can't believe it's been that long as I'm still in shock and amazed at the daily affect it has had on my life. Life goes on whether you want it to or not, there are bills to pay, Dr's appointments, and kids grow and change, and things around the house need repair, pets get sick and decisions have to made that I thought I wouldn't have to do alone. But what I've learned in the last nine months; I'm not alone. The Book Club will survive without me. LBC members are the best people in the world. If I reach out, there are many friends who are there for me if I have the courage to ask for help. I have the ability to know when I'm wrong, in fact, through all of this, it's much easier to admit the small stuff. Life is short. Who knows which way the wind is blowing? I'm still standing every first and third Saturday with an attendance list and reading guide in one hand and my small skinny vanilla latte with one equal in the other and no ones taking those things from me until they can pry them from my cold dead fingers. I hope that's okay..... is that okay? That is okay isn't it?
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